Happy New Year. I have cancer. Yep that says it all. Can I just stop there? Yeah, probably not.

Happy New Year.  I have cancer.  Yep that says it all. Can I just stop there?  Yeah, probably not.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble."

My TaTas.  I give full credit to Victoria’s Secret for how cute they look in this pic.

The one thing I love about Facebook it that it lets me know what my friends & family are up to in their daily lives – picked up kids, just had lobster, someone dressed the dog up in a batman costume & painted their toes. Mundane? Yes. But that is what makes me feel more connected with people I have not seen or talked to in ages because now I am part of their daily lives.

The downside about Facebook is it often results in a bunch of one-liners, so when something major happens, you always wonder - What? When? Who? Details please!!! Since there is only so much info I can put in a “status update”, my sister told me to blog it.

The short version –

Annual mammogram the Monday after Thanksgiving turns into cancerous tumors found in left breast & lymph nodes in left armpit. Living life with a cup half full prognosis: Girlfriend is getting a free boob job!

Longer version -

-Monday, Nov. 28th: Had annual mammogram Monday after thanksgiving.

-Tues: Received call requesting I come back for a recheck

- Wed: Diagnostic mammogram done & ultrasound requested by radiologist & done. 2 suspicious lumps in L breast. Also possible funny business in armpit lymph glands.

- Monday, Dec. 3rd: Had needle biopsy Monday.

-Tues: Still no biopsy results, but did get OBGYN to fax me copy of Radio. report. Not good. My BIRADS score was “5”. BIRADS = Breast Imaging Reporting and Data System. This indicates the radiologist's opinion of the absence or presence of breast cancer. It sets up a classification for Level of Suspicion (LOS) - the possibility of breast cancer. "5 = Highly Suspicious of Malignancy. Lesion that has a high probability of being malignant (>= 95%); take appropriate action." Not good. :(

- Wed: Preliminary pathology report in. Yep, its cancer.

- Fri, December 7th: Met with surgeon. Diagnosis: invasive ductal carcinoma - stage 2. Preliminary course of treatment most likely- double mastectomy +chemo. Still waiting on full pathology. Need to know if my cancer is receptive to hormones &/or “supercharged.

- MRI on December 12^th, genetic counselor & testing on the 13^th, back to the surgeon on the 14^th for further game planning, & Oncologist on the 31^st.

Diagnosis:

Ø  Invasive Ductal Carcinoma: Invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC), also known as infiltrating ductal carcinoma, is cancer that began growing in the duct and has invaded the fatty tissue of the breast outside of the duct. IDC is the most common form of breast cancer, representing 80 percent of all breast cancer diagnoses.

Ø  Stage 2 (a?)

Ø  Grade 1 (5/9)

Ø  Tumors found in (think of boob as a clock dial) left breast at:

–        @ 10:30  1.3cm

–        @ 10:00     9 mm

–        @ 12:00     6 mm

–        Funky business also found @ 6. Needs further testing

Ø  Tumors found in lymph glands – level 1 & 2 nodes (15 x 6 x 11 mm)

Ø  Hormone Receptor Status: ER+ / PR+ / HER-

Now what?

The good news in all of this is I have "plain old breast cancer", which means the most researched & the best treatable. However, the median age for diagnosis for cancer of the breast is 61.  I'm 46.  That’s young in cancer world.   Because of getting cancer at a young age, & because my life expectancy is  another 40+ years, the chances of my getting cancer again in my lifetime is high.  Because of that, I am opting to have a bilateral mastectomy. Mastectomy offers 1% recurrence rate - lumpectomy offers chance of 30% recurrence. I do NOT what to go through all of this again.  Appearance is a big factor in my decision too. Take a minute and Google “breast reconstruction” & you’ll see what I mean. To do a lumpectomy with all the funky business in my breast would give me more craters than the moon. Frankly, I want my girls to match & be symmetrical. And to be really frank about it, I’ve nursed 2 babies & lost 100 lbs., so the tatas I have are not that pretty without the help of Victoria’s Secret & could use a facelift.  Also, did you know that there is a breast reconstruction technique that involves me getting a tummy tuck too?!  I am soooo there!

Now I am just waiting on others’ schedules, Oncologist wants to do radiation in armpit due to lymph node invasion + definite for chemo due to my "young" age, size of tumor found since last annual screening, and the fact that it has spread to lymph nodes.  Meeting with Plastics guy on the 15^th to discuss my “reconstruction options.”  Drs then all coordinate their schedules.  No dates yet but probably end of January or beginning of February.

So how am I doing? Good. My Mom managed to raise 3 women who are amazingly strong, practical & resilient (my brother is a whole ‘nother blog article).  I’m not terrified.  I’m pissed off. The surgery doesn’t scare me.  The chemo is soo going to suck, but I am up for the fight.  The worst of all if it is the unknown -- Will this come back? When? What happens to my girls if things get really bad or go really wrong?  Those thoughts are the ones that get me.  I’m more worries about those who care about me than myself: my sister Suzanne was diagnosed & treated for cervical cancer just this past February.  She knows what I am in for because she‘s lived it; my sister Michelle has been scared witless by this – she knows what I am in for too with her medical background, & is scared at the thought that she is next (*great news just in: I’m NEGATIVE for the BRCA 1 & BRCA 2 genes! – girls in my family are not cursed!); and my Mom has now had 2 of her babies diagnosed with cancer within a year. Sucks!

In my “Living life with a cup half full” attitude, I am intrigued by the possibility of having some rockin wigs & not having to shave my legs all summer.  I am working on accepting all the love-help-support from those around me.  I plan on keeping my Starbucks card loaded. I am trying not to use my “I have cancer” card as an excuse for a shopping binge. I think that’s a good start.